Understanding the consciousness paradox that keeps successful women feeling empty

By Sharon Saevitzon, PCC, ELI-MP
Love-centered transformation coach who helps accomplished women shift from external achievement to heart-centered fulfillment through ancient wisdom and modern consciousness practices

The Paradox That Puzzles Everyone

You've earned the degree. Built the business.. Climbed the ladder. Check all the boxes that society says equal "success." Yet here you are, scrolling through articles at 2 AM, wondering why you feel so... empty.

If you're a high-achieving woman who feels like you "should be doing more" despite your accomplishments, you're experiencing a common energy paradox of our time. The very drive that creates external success often operates from surprisingly catabolic energy levels that leave you feeling unfulfilled, regardless of what you achieve.

Understanding Energy Leadership: The 7 Levels of Consciousness

The Energy Leadership Index (ELI), developed by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), maps seven distinct levels of energy that determine how we experience and respond to life. What's fascinating, and initially counterintuitive, is that many high achievers often operate from Levels 1 & 2, which are considered "catabolic" or energy-draining levels.

The Catabolic Levels (1 & 2): Where High Achievers Get Trapped

Level 1 - Victim Energy: I have no choice."
Even successful women can operate from victim energy when they feel trapped by their own success, unable to change course without losing everything they've built.

Level 2 - Conflict/Anger: "I'll fight to win"
This is where many high achievers live, constantly in competition, fighting against obstacles, proving their worth through force and determination.

The Ancient Wisdom Connection: Indigenous Understanding of Life Force

Indigenous traditions have long understood what modern consciousness research now validates. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, practitioners recognize that sustained effort without heart connection depletes the spirit, leading to what we might call "success depression."

The Lakota concept of wakan teaches that true power comes from alignment with natural flow rather than force. As one of my teachers said, "When we push against the river, we exhaust ourselves. When we move with its current, we reach our destination with grace."

Why Achievement-Focused Energy Creates Emptiness

The Neuroscience of Driven Behavior

Dr. Amy Arnsten's research at Yale School of Medicine reveals that chronic uncontrollable stress impairs the prefrontal cortex, the brain region responsible for executive function and goal achievement, and impairs our ability to access creativity, intuition, and emotional connection. This may explain why many high achievers feel increasingly disconnected from their authentic selves as they climb higher.

When we operate primarily from Levels 1&2 energy, we're essentially running on stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) rather than the neurochemicals associated with fulfillment (oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine). This creates what researchers call "hedonic adaptation", the tendency for achievements to provide only temporary satisfaction before we return to baseline emotional states.

At Level 3, we start moving from catabolic energy to anabolic, life-giving energy

The Heart-Centered Alternative

Research from the HeartMath Institute demonstrates that heart-focused breathing techniques can shift us into "heart coherence", a measurable state where our heart rhythm patterns become coherent and synchronized. This physiological state correlates with Level 4+ energy in the ELI assessment.

Dr. Rollin McCraty's studies show that heart-focused breathing can:

• Reduce cortisol levels

• Improve decision-making and emotional regulation

• Enhance creativity and intuitive insight

The Practice of Heart Listening

In my practice, I help accomplished women recognize when they're operating from force versus flow.

Heart-Centered Reflection Practice:

1. Place your hand on your heart and breathe naturally

2. Ask: "Is this action/goal coming from love or fear?"

3. Notice the quality of energy in your body. Does it feel expansive or contractive?

4. Choose actions that generate expansion rather than depletion

Moving from Catabolic “draining” to Anabolic “life-giving” Energy

Level 3 - Responsibility: “I tolerate”

Level 3 is a combination of catabolic and anabolic energy.

Level 4 - Concern, love: “I am of service”

Level 5 - Reconciliation: "I can create possibilities"

Level 6 - Synthesis: "I can find wisdom and connection in everything"

Level 7 - Non-Judgmental Awareness: "I am one with all life"

Levels 5-7: The Realm of Love-Centered Leadership

Research by Dr. Adam Grant at Wharton shows that employees who can connect their work to meaningful impact on others experience significantly higher levels of engagement and satisfaction.

For high-achieving women, this often means shifting from "What will this achievement do for me?" to "How will this serve others?" This isn't about diminishing your accomplishments but about infusing them with heart-centered purpose.

Studies show that leaders who operate with attributes from the higher levels create more innovative teams, experience less burnout, and achieve more sustainable results.

Practical Integration: Ancient Wisdom Meets Modern Life

Daily Energy Awareness Practice

Drawing from both ELI principles and indigenous wisdom traditions:

Morning Attunement (5 minutes):

• Place your feet on the ground, connecting with Earth energy

• Set intention based on love rather than fear

• Ask: "How can I serve from my highest self today?"

Midday Check-in (2 minutes):

• Notice your energy level (1-7 scale)

• If operating below Level 4, pause and breathe into your heart

• Reconnect with your deeper "why."

Evening Reflection (3 minutes):

• Acknowledge what you accomplished from love versus force

• Express gratitude for opportunities to serve

• Set intentions for tomorrow from your heart center

The Conscious Achievement Method

Rather than abandoning your goals, transform your relationship with them:

• Root in Purpose: Connect each goal to how it serves others

• Honor Your Energy: Work with your natural rhythms rather than against them

• Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge growth, not just outcomes

• Practice Presence: Find joy in the journey, not just the destination

Creating Your Love-Centered Success Container

The Indigenous American tradition of creating sacred space teaches us that transformation happens within containers of safety and reverence. At sharonsaevitzon.com, we recognize that sustainable high achievement requires:

• Community: You're not meant to transform alone

• Safety: A non-judgmental space to explore beyond societal expectations

• Wisdom: Integration of ancient practices with modern insights

• Heart Connection: Remembering that your worth isn't your work

The Invitation: From Doing to Being

High achievement doesn't have to mean high depletion. When we understand the energy dynamics behind our actions, we can maintain our ambitious nature while operating from love rather than fear, service rather than survival, and flow rather than force.

The question isn't whether you should achieve less, it's whether you're ready to achieve more sustainably, more joyfully, and from a place that fills you up rather than drains you dry.

As the ancient Taoist saying reminds us: "The master accomplishes without striving." This isn't about becoming passive; it's about discovering the extraordinary power that flows when our achievements align with our authentic heart.

Scientific References

• Grant, A. M., & Wrzesniewski, A. (2010). A little thanks goes a long way: Explaining why gratitude expressions motivate prosocial behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98(6), 946-955.

• Arnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410-422.

• McCraty, R., & Shaffer, F. (2015). Heart rate variability: new perspectives on physiological mechanisms, assessment of self-regulatory capacity, and health risk. Global Advances in Health and Medicine, 4(1), 46-61.

• Grant, A. (2013). Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success. Penguin Books.

• Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching. (2020). Energy Leadership Index Research and Validation. iPEC Publishing.

Ready to transform your relationship with achievement? Download "The Energy Leadership Self-Assessment" to discover your current consciousness level and begin your journey to love-centered success.

Connect with Sharon: For accomplished women ready to operate from love rather than force, visit sharonsaevitzon.com to explore a heart-centered transformation that honors both your ambition and your authentic self.